Cars

My baby returned from work this evening, he walked on through the door and I knew straight away something was wrong; his smile was not as broad as normal, his eyes we're not so full of life and his face - well he looked like he needed some comfort. I've never seen him like that, that bad, in all time we've been boyfriends; and truth be told my heart kind of fell to the floor because it hurt, I kid you not it hurt so much to see my baby in such a state. Another truth be told is that I felt like crying but I just knew I had to be strong, to comfort and support my baby; I didn't even know what had happened, we'd not even spoke at this stage, it all just whizzed through my mind within the first ten seconds of my baby walking in and shutting the door. I wasn't wrong, unfortunately there was something wrong...............

It had been a bad day at the office, a supercharged full on day - lots of stress, lots of stuff not going to plan and lots of people getting agitated as a result and taking it out on my baby. Not that any of it was my baby's fault (look I'm getting all protective of you baby - don't worry baby I'll tell Blogger World you're the best case manager in the business!) I mean he's the guy that solves peoples problems, orchestrates all the variables and brings them all together as one. If things don't go to plan, it's not because the plan is wrong, it's because a variable is not playing to the same game plan. Whatever, it's my baby that gets it in the neck as a result, fair or unfair that's the nature of game; and it is unfair, even though I am biased it's still unfair; I don't know how anyone could shout or scream at my baby. He normally deals with it so well but today, well it was pretty much non stop for him, it got the better of him, it would for anyone; I couldn't do his job, I'm not that well mentally equipped for it.

Lots of kisses and cuddles followed, I held my baby tight to my chest for so long and it was like a role reversal, it's always been me needing the comfort of my baby and here I was with my baby so fragile in my arms, picking up the pieces and putting them back together again. I told my baby to go get a quick shower, get changed and we'd go out for a walk - tea was officially cancelled; my baby asked where we were going and I told him we were off to find the sun and lose the day. We left the car and we set off walking, no plan or direction, just hand in hand; down St Mary's Way, past The Peel Centre, around Newbridge Lane and up the steps to St. Mary's Church; all the while talking away. We sat on the back wall in the churchyard and looked out onto Newbridge Lane below and the motorway in the distance, watching the World in motion. The cars, the trucks, the vans speeding on by; I turned to my baby and told him I found it all so very romantic, there's an essence of beauty in all the traffic forever passing by. He seemed slightly puzzled by my comment and asked my why, I told him it was because it always means there's someone finding their way home - home to their family, home to their loved ones; there's always someone heading home and always someone looking forward to them coming home. I told my baby it's how I think of him, and I do, each time he's travelling over to see me be it from work, from his flat or from wherever I always think of him in such terms - finding his way back home, a home where he'll always find love. I was going on to some tune about if you could photograph a busy motorway at dusk with the headlights illuminating the growing darkness it could well be the most beautifully understated piece of art ever when I was stopped in my tracks. I guess I was kind of lost in thought but a simple excuse me had me turning to my baby once more and well, I kind of lost my breath, I couldn't have spoken a single word even if I wanted to. Looking back at me was a big smile illuminating my baby's face - a smile I knew so well, a smile I thought that was forever and had kind of broke me when it disappeared had returned.

We didn't find the sun but under darkening skies we found something far more precious, we found my baby's smile; my baby took my hand, thanked me and we kissed. Hand in hand staring out at the cars passing below us, people just driving to the same destination - ultimately heading home...........

For my baby and I - I hope we'll always be like kids on the run; one of the finest songs I've heard in the longest time and it's kind of apt too. I love you baby, your smile means the World xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

How to love

I should be happy, well I am happy, but I should be happier; my life is blessed, I know it is - I've got a beautiful boyfriend and I'm going away on holiday soon, I'm off to find the sunshine that seems to have disappeared from these fair shores; in short life is real good. But it's the holiday that's the problem, I should be so excited and so happy about it but I'm not because it's tempered with thoughts of being apart from my baby. My baby's not coming with me, for reasons that do not concern you or anyone else he's not coming with me; it doesn't upset me that he's not coming, it's my baby's choice and I respect that, it's just the prospect of being apart for a week - it terrifies me. And I don't use the word terrify over dramatically here boys and girls because it does, it chills me to the core to know we'll be apart, continents apart, for a whole week.

I should be used to this scenario by now, it's way not the first time this has happened, I know that the week will soon pass and I know it won't be as bad as my minds making me believe right now; but still I'll miss him like crazy. There's only certain people I feel comfortable with, only certain people that I share everything with and only certain things that can be shared between boyfriends; and my baby he's all of that and more. I'm not talking about sex either boys and girls, sure I'll miss it but I'll miss the kisses, cuddles and companionship more - I'll just miss him for the guy he is. I don't deal with this kind of stuff well at all and my baby may not be best pleased with me for posting this kind of negative stuff on here but I just need an outlet, somewhere to write my thoughts; and man it's been so long since I last posted on here and I choose a moment like this to break the hiatus - I'm sorry on both accounts, so sorry........

It's been at the back of my mind most of the week but I've kind of kept it there and tried not to think about it, and I was winning the war up until this evening. I phoned up Virgin Mobile to activate roaming on my phone so I could speak to my baby whilst I'm away when I got home this evening and the immediacy of it all just hit me, all these thoughts I've been fighting hard to suppress just came flooding out at once and blew me away. I can no longer pretend that it's not imminent, that the nights we'll be together are closing in on us and the week we'll be apart is looming large because it's staring me right in the face.

I need my baby, I hope he hurries on home from work tonight; I just need a kiss, a cuddle and be told that everything will be alright - I need to be in his arms, I need comforting, I need his security. It's a big ask but my baby deals with this kind of stuff way better than I do; and I don't like asking in my times of need but it's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength to admit that things aren't okay, that I need a little help - my baby taught me that; he's taught me lots of things. I wish he could teach how not to miss him so much but I guess that's an impossible ask, besides it's something I don't want to learn anyway - I miss him because I love him and I never want to learn how not to love............

For my baby, so much love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

Foreign legion

Good evening boys and girls, you may have noticed a new edition to my blog in the form of a twitter feed because well, and this is difficult to say, I've finally decided to come out of the closet and admit that I use twitter; oh my gosh if being gay was not bad enough! Not that I've been keeping it a secret from you, I only started using it on Monday and this is the first real opportunity I've had to announce it to Blogger World. Rest assured this does not mean it's the end of our beautiful relationship on here, I mean how could I, we've been through so much together. You've witnessed me come out as gay; watched me turn from a man-whore into a very happy, very much in love and loved boyfriend; and as a result seen me grow into a more confident, happier and contented gay-boy. We've been through a truck load of stuff, so I'm not about to ditch you in favour of a twitter account; if nothing else it'll be used to compliment this here blog - a reading companion if you will..........

You see my baby, Rach and I talked about this over the weekend; we had all this stuff going on from all the wonderful things we were doing and our days and nights were that packed that we had no time to sit down and write a post. Rach suggested that I try twitter to capture all those moments that would end up otherwise sliding down the wayside; my baby and I dismissed her suggestion because I tried twitter last year for a couple of days and was less than impressed; so unimpressed that I deleted my account completely. I preferred Blogger, I mean I have a lot to say - gosh I can go on for hours, when my baby and I just sit, cuddle and talk our conversations lead to the most extraordinary places. I love that, I guess it's reflected within this blog, particularly so when my baby's with me because a post can lead to places that have no bearing on what the post is actually about; when I'm comfortable and relaxed my mind just wanders free. Still I couldn't get the idea of using twitter out of my mind, my baby and I talked about it again on Sunday night; and after the weekend where we had no time to post it suddenly seemed like a good idea again. As my baby said, it'll be like the first guy I ever had sex with - try it you might just like it; I had no reply to that one barring laughter because it's so true, I mean just look at me now..........

So I signed up Sunday night under the careful supervision of my baby and I kind of forgot about it - if nothing else it was there if I wanted to use it. Monday night found me on the train into Manchester to meet my baby to go and see Kiss; I was stupidly excited and I needed someone to tell. I could use twitter I thought, what a top idea, so I logged on via my mobile phone and the rest is there for you all to see. Hence, I must first apologise to Rach for dismissing her suggestion because twitter is a real handy little tool for those moments when I need to share something but either don't have the time to post on here or I'm not near a computer. I log on with my mobile phone and in a short burst tell whoever wants to know what's on my mind or what we're up to. It's great and it's kind of addictive; I mean I've kept myself in check but I can see it being used for the most inane thoughts that enter my mind, even more so when my baby is with me; and that's another handy feature of twitter.

Between Blogger and twitter it keeps my mind occupied when my baby's not with me; it stops me thinking about how horny I am, how much I need sex and how much I miss my beautiful boyfriend (I appreciate the irony here - it stops me thinking about it as I explain it to you and so think about it!) It doesn't stop me thinking how much I adore him though, I don't think anything could ever stop me from thinking those kind of thoughts. This is the second night without my baby and I need all the help I can get; it feels like I've been conscripted into the foreign legion.........

Crazy nights

Good evening boys and girls; and before you say it yes I know it's been a while but please rest assured that we've not been ignoring you. We've not found the time to post because we've not really been home the past couple of nights - home has just been a base to come home from work, wash, change, go out, come back and go to bed before doing it all over again. If you think that's kind of rough my baby's had it much worse - he's gone out to work early morning and not come back home until way late at night or early the following morning; no joke! But it's okay, in fact it's more than okay and as you may know it's rare we go out partying on a school night but sometimes there are exceptions to that rule; Monday and Tuesday nights were such exceptions...........

They have been a crazy couple of nights - I've finished work, got home, washed and changed before leaving again to catch a train into Manchester to meet my baby. I feel for my baby because he's got washed and changed at work - he took a wash bag and a change of clothes with him to work Monday morning in preparation for the preceding nights; after speaking to him today and tonight he said it's felt like he's not left work for 48 hours. But he has and neither of us complain because whatever we've been through was worth it, oh my gosh the past two nights have been nothing if not glorious and the fun and enjoyment we've had as a result has been beyond any kind of measure.

Last night we went to see The Big Pink at Manchester Academy, it's the second time we've seen them live in a matter of months; and as ever they were just awesome. One of our favourite albums of 2009 and live they really do bring that kind of industrial sound to life and they seriously rock. There's a real edginess to them too, it's like there's a kind of buzz around them that you can feel, that takes over the crowd and the atmosphere it creates, well that's why we love going to gigs, for the atmosphere. Venues like the Academy especially, kind of small, intimate, standing only gigs create a real special atmosphere; it's hot, it's sweaty, it's crowded and kind of dirty. It's the grass roots of gigs in some respects and maintains the true ethics of live music; feelings that can get lost in vast arenas or open air gigs, such an atmosphere is lost because it doesn't translate well. The Big Pink could and should progress to such arenas; and if they do, well we can say we saw them when they were just starting out, when they played that little old venue called the Academy; all that energy and excitement so close you can almost touch it. The Big Pink would normally be the highlight of the week but on Monday night, we were blown away to different heights altogether; it was a different gig altogether and I appreciate I've just bemoaned the negative aspects of arena gigs but not all bands are the same. Some bands were made for massive arena gigs................

Many months ago I bought two tickets and for many months thereafter I kept it a secret because one of those tickets was part of my baby's birthday present; the other ticket was for me, I mean I wouldn't let my baby go on his own now, I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I did because that's what such occasions are for - for experiencing with someone you love. (Oh gosh I've gone all romantic, bless, look what you do to me baby! Love you baby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox) This being despite the fact that I'm no big fan of the band in question but as my baby is, well come his birthday I just happened to be the best boyfriend in the World; and come Monday night neither of us were really sure what to expect. Neither of us have seen them live before, I don't think they've toured for years and what we didn't realise until we got to the gig and talked to some other fans - the band are like 60 years old now. Have they still got it? Are they past it? Can they still rock and put on a show? We didn't know, but we were both so excited - my baby in particular; oh my gosh his eyes were alight, his smile was never ending and he kept kissing me, cuddling me and wouldn't let go of my hand (which is never, ever a bad thing boys and girls!) But he was so alive with energy, happiness and excitement that it was worth the price of the tickets alone; gosh how I love to see my baby so happy and we were both hoping it was going to be a great gig, maybe me even more so because it was after all for such a special occasion - my baby's Birthday treat, a couple of months late admittedly but you can't always schedule a gig on the day of your boyfriends birthday. I wanted it to be something that he'd never forget...............

We went to see KISS and whatever we were expecting, anticipating and hoping so desperately for, they delivered and went beyond it, they blew us and everyone else packed inside a sold out MEN Arena away. We have never seen another gig like it, we may never see anything like it ever again because they absolutely rocked Manchester to the foundations, forget the MEN Arena, they rocked the whole of Manchester. They just blitzed the City to smithereens, absolutely tore it apart - the costumes, the stage, the set, the fireworks, the special effects, the guitarist flying out over the crowd to a turntable plinth down the far end of the Arena - you just would not believe it because we didn't even believe it ourselves; it honestly took at least 24 hours to appreciate what we had witnessed. I find their music a bit kind of middle of the road but live it rocks, not in a real hard way but in a feel good, sing a long, dance, jump and wave your arms in the air way. We were sat in the lower tier, or should have been, because from the moment they hit the stage we were up dancing, singing, jumping, playing air guitar and punching the air throughout. Which may all sound slightly extreme and out of place, the kind of behaviour that may get you thrown out of such a venue; except for the fact that as far as we could see everyone else was doing the same, the place was absolutely bouncing. Young, old, male, female, straight or gay - it didn't matter because everyone was drawn together as one, to pay homage to rock n roll.

I've seen some serious heavyweights in the music world - Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, Lou Reed - serious rock royalty; I've always thought I would never see anything more spectacular than the U2 Zoo TV tour which was awe inspiring but I may have to think again. KISS are right up there with them all, something I would never imagine myself saying until after Monday night, but it's true. One things for sure we've never had so much fun at a gig, it was pure, unadulterated fun; such a feel good factor, such a buzz and so life affirming. The Arena, although vast, was absolutely buzzing from start to finish; we've never felt an atmosphere so electric and the noise, dear me; not only were KISS loud but the crowd were screaming and shouting just about every word from every song. And when they played crazy, crazy nights the crowd went absolutely mental singing the chorus back so loud that it sent a shiver down my spine; you looked around and the whole Arena was on their feet, their voices lifting the roof off the place; we've honestly never witnessed anything like it before.

The highlight of my night had nothing to do with the band, the music or the atmosphere; despite it being one of the best. It was the look of absolute joy and happiness on my baby's face, to see the guy I adore having the time of his life with the biggest smile I've ever seen; and he honestly did have the time of his life, we both did, well it was the best feeling in the World, the best night in the World. I'm so blessed to have been able to witness it, to be a part of it and to love you, so very blessed; one hell of a crazy night for all the right reasons xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

Shimmer

We've honestly no idea how to describe the weekend and do any kind of justice to it, just none at all; and there's so many things that we've done that there really is no way we could cover everything. It was just blissful, total and utter bliss from start to finish; and in particular from when we hooked up with Rach just before midday on Saturday. I don't think any of us have had so much fun and laughter - decent, honest and innocent fun and laughter; none of us had any other motive than to make each other happy. Oh gosh, we're just three regular people - two guys in love and a girl who loves to see my baby and I in love; a girl and a guy who are two of my best friends, who are best friends with each other and when you put us all together, well it's nothing short of magical.

These are the moments we can't describe but will stay with us for a real long time - they're imprinted in our smiles, they make our eyes shine and they make our hearts love. This song is our weekend, it's us...............

Threesome

Top of the morning boys and girls, we hope you're all happy and well; come on it's the weekend! I'm so excited, we're both so excited but I get kind of giddy and silly with it, whereas my baby he's way more level headed; we've both been looking forward to this point most of the week and all the planning has come together just perfectly. For the past couple of days it's been in all our conversations or text messages, it's always been there in our thoughts and it's made us both so happy - or should that read it's made us all so happy? Because there's more than two of us, or there will be shortly; you see for the rest of the weekend we'll be enjoying a threesome - that's right you read it correctly and it's not a typo a THREESOME! And that's why I'm giddy with excitement boys and girls, oh my gosh...............

Now a word of warning before we continue because we both know some of our readers have got very dirty minds and read more into a situation than there actually is - yes we know who you are and one in particular should be ashamed of himself; although that said my baby and I both think you've got a nice body, all of it! We should post the photos and really put you to shame but then again they're probably all over the internet already; and we doubt it would bring shame anyway! So a threesome but it's not what you're probably thinking boys and girls - I've not ground my baby down by my constant requests to get spit roasted, in fact I've stopped asking, I've not asked for the longest time because I've no need to ask. I love my baby, my baby loves me and our sex life continues to be fantastic; there's no need for anyone else and I don't want anyone else other than my baby - I love him and no one else. Besides I don't think my body could take any more pleasure, or pain come to think of it - I woke up with a pain in the neck this morning and I don't think it's got anything to do with sleeping funny. But it has got everything to do with my baby working me over to some tune last night, dear me he shagged me in just about every position you could think of and he did it hard. He's either banged my spine out of alignment (that's so gross I know, and funny, and the truth; it's not the truth - sorry) or it's due to the fact that my head was crushed into the headboard at one point during last nights manoeuvres whilst my baby was in some kind of sexual frenzy! Whatever, I don't care because it was worth it, is getting laid by someone you love to bits the best experience in the World? It's a rhetorical question boys and girls, for we already know the answer.

So I woke up this morning with a stiff and painful neck but it wasn't that painful and it wasn't the only thing that was stiff (oh gosh that is funny and this time very much the truth); my baby woke me up when he went to answer the call of nature at around about half past eight this morning. I looked at the clock (obviously - that's why I knew what the time was), I listened to him relieving himself, I watched him return to the bedroom as naked as the day he was born and the sight of his cock got me horny. My baby wished me a good morning and apologised for waking me up before getting back into bed; he gave me a kiss, I kissed him back and told him I was horny before my hand disappeared South - morning sex is just divine, the best way to start any day..............

We've had breakfast, drank coffee and eased ourselves into the day; we've packed our bags and as soon as we finish this post, if we ever do because of my meanderings, we'll be leaving for my baby's flat - we're relocating for the weekend. Not only that but we won't be alone for the weekend either, we're spending it all with Rach; hence the threesome and why you've all got very dirty minds because as the name suggests and if you're a regular reader you'll appreciate that Rach is a girl. My baby's girlfriend to be exact and a dearly loved friend to me; just one of the most loveliest friends anyone could ever hope to have, Rach keeps my baby company and looks after him when we can't be together, she's a star! We always say and we always promise that we should all get together more often than we do; and we always fail miserably and it's a shame because we all have great fun when we do seize the opportunity. We've not failed this weekend because we'll be together throughout - we're taking Rach to the Trafford Centre today, it's her Brothers Birthday next week; and despite him being straight well my baby and I were asked to help out on the Birthday gift hunt. Apparently he probably wouldn't appreciate PVC hot pants and some make up - I just don't understand straight guys, such a strange breed! Only joking, my baby and I have got some good taste, so I'm sure between us all we'll find something to make Birthday boy very happy. I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to go shopping for ourselves too and we can go girly shopping too with Rach, how I adore girly shopping!

Tonight we'll be staying in, it's going to be one of our famous slouchy nights - take out food, alcohol, a couple of dvd's and lots of fun and laughter. Rach is staying over at my baby's flat, she normally goes home but tonight there'll be no worries about getting home so she can get as drunk as my baby and me. Tomorrow we're all going to go out together too, we don't know where yet, our plans haven't stretched that far - we'll see what time we get up, how we feel and what the weather's like. But that's all ahead of us, one step at a time boys and girls but it's the reason we've all so been looking forward to this weekend. Good friends make good times boys and girls, this weekend will be no exception to that rule............

If we find the time or have the inkling we may post again from my baby's flat but until then we wish you all a weekend filled with fun, laughter, smiles and love. Go make some happy memories boys and girls, it cheers the World; with love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Alstroemeria

Good evening boys and girls, we were going to post last night but we didn't get round to it because there was a problem, nothing major - there's nothing to worry yourselves over, in fact you probably couldn't class it as a problem at all. You see I fell asleep in my baby's arms on the sofa, I was kind of tired and we were lay together on the sofa, cuddled up and listening to music; it wasn't my intention to fall asleep but I did. I guess it was because I just felt so safe, so warm, so secure and so loved in my baby's arms that I drifted off, I didn't even remember the heavy eyed bit - where you're eyes are so heavy you can't keep them open, I must have just gone. I felt kind of guilty when I woke up because it's no way to spend an evening with my baby is it? To fall asleep in his arms? Not that he minded or complained, to the contrary in fact, he told me that it meant so much and he also felt so relaxed holding, cuddling and watching me whilst I slept; I asked my baby how long I'd been out for and I was gone for just over an hour, and there was my baby he didn't move or disturb me, he cuddled me throughout. It says so much and I don't know but I got kind of emotional when my baby told me he cuddled and watched over me whilst I slept, yes - it says so very much...............

But hey we're back now and I'm feeling anything but tired, I'm feeling kind of horny to be honest and my baby's just said that's nothing new, which I assume means you think I get too much sex? Lest we forget that you're my boyfriend, a beautiful, cute, sexy and loving boyfriend may I say, so if I get too much sex what does that say about you, um I wonder? My baby's says he's very lucky to have found a boyfriend as horny as he is, that's what! I guess it's a polite way of putting it and if noting else it is the truth. Or is it? You see I think the reason I was feeling so tired yesterday was the fact that I'm not getting enough protein in my diet, we discussed this last night when I woke up. My baby thought I was being serious when I mentioned it until I said the lack of protein must mean he's not shagging me enough; he asked an open question about how much cock does one guy need before pushing a cushion in my face. The answer came later, literally, it's only one and quite a tasty big one it is too! If I wasn't tired before I was shagged out afterwards, once again quite literally, oh my gosh, we both slept well last night........

We had a magical text exchange through the day today, discussing our plans for the weekend and oh gosh it left me so excited at the prospect; I had such a warm, fuzzy feeling inside for the remainder of the day. I told my baby how it made me feel when he got home tonight and he said pretty much the same thing - it left him being unable to wait for tomorrow evening when work ends and the weekend begins. It does sound so special, not that we're planning on doing anything extraordinary or different, there's a subtle change that's all; but still it fills our hearts with happiness and that's a very good feeling to have. It makes my baby smile and that's just the finest vision in the World because that makes not one but two very happy, smiley boyfriends; here's to all the happy, smiley boyfriends in the World. Go tell your boyfriend you love him, make him smile - I love you baby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox. It works, trust me it works and it works both ways too!

I did the honest thing this evening, the only thing a gay-boy in love with his boyfriend could do, (well not the only thing but you know) I bought my baby some more flowers. His tulips had seen much better days and to be honest they weren't exactly as we'd have hoped for, or certainly as I hoped for when I bought them. They weren't exactly the most beautiful flowers in the World, they looked like they had such promise when I bought them and sure they lasted for nigh on two weeks but they didn't really capture the imagination; but still we live and learn. Anyway we hope my baby's latest flowers fare better, I mean they sound awesome, isn't buying or receiving flowers an education in itself? We can't even pronounce the name of them, but as soon as I saw them I thought they look different, then I read the description and I knew they were the ones. They're called Alstroemeria and the description reads - native to South America the Peruvian lilies flourish in the cool mountainous regions of the Andes. Originally introduced to Europe in 1754 these long pasting flowers come in a range of vibrant colours. Don't they just sound so exotic? My baby adores them, he was taken aback by the leaf formation on them, masses of dark green angular leaves with a flash of colour from the flower head; and even though the heads have yet to open the contrast between the flower and the leaves looks extraordinary. Oh my gosh, he seriously enjoyed preparing and arranging them in the vase; and as ever it took my breath away watching him take so much care, so much time and give them so much love whilst doing so. He's done a stellar job with them and they do look awesomely beautiful arranged in the vase; and the smile on my baby's face after he'd finished and stood back to admire them - there are no words to describe it or do it justice, none at all.